I frustrate myself sometimes. At times, I spend a good hour just contemplating things over and over in my head before I sleep, namely people that I like. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like this happens a lot…but it does. I can count maybe three times that I’ve actually liked someone to the point where I have to contemplate it before I sleep in college. Of all those three times, I’ve never actually done anything about it. I’m such a coward. I wish that I could have the kind of courage that I have in other areas with girls.
My friend explained it to me this way…
“You have fat kid syndrome.”
You see I was a porker growing up…haha, and I compensated my fatty appearance with my friendly personality. (I also tried my hand in athletics) With that compensation, I naturally lacked any confidence with girls. I would just be nice to them, especially if I liked them, and expected magic to happen and BOOOM! they would like me back. (**Disclaimer* Girls, please don’t think that I like you if I’m nice to you (I don’t think that’s much of a problem, but I thought I’d say it anyways) If I’m mean to you well…**) OH HOW I WAS WRONG. Currently, I’m one for like ten. That’s including the girls I’ve liked in middle school, high school, and college. That’s pretty shitty if you ask me.
I have lost a lot of my weight, but I think I still lack that confidence with the girls who in my head are definitely on a higher “hot”/attractive scale than I am. In my head I’m still the fat little kid who couldn’t see his toes (yes, I was that fat O_o), and I still carry on with my ways…
WHAT IF SHE DOESN’T LIKE ME?
OHHH REJECTION HURTS!
I DON’T WANT TO BE JUDGED!
WHAT IS GOING TO BECOME OF THE FRIENDSHIP?!
But mostly just,
WHAT IF SHE DOESN’T LIKE MEEEE????? WAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! x 222093840980980. (yes, multiplied by, for those of you who suck at math)
I need to stop being a baby…
If you were a fat kid growing up like my post…ahhahaha